i got mine, now get your own

Dear Sir,

I realize you must think you really pulled one over on me. Do you really think a woman as smart as I believed the bullshit you spewed for a second? You were right about one thing, I am "real and not like other girls." Did it hurt my ego that you fucked me and began to flirt with my friend? Oh yeah, but you know what I realized, I got exactly what I wanted from you. Some soft caresses, a hard fuck and you out the door. Was I hoping to have a ongoing "sometimes lover" relationship with you? Sure I was. But my drought isn't so bad that I would ever go back to someone as classless as you. You had a chance to have a great friend and lover with me; I'm not like the other girls, I truly don't want a forever fuck. Good luck to you, and don't worry I don't mind because you don't fucking matter.

Sincerely,
Knew better, but did it anyway.

WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH ME

You may want to know what the fuck I am looking for with all of this online dating blog bullshit. Well it is simple really. I am looking for the best of myself in a man that loves the worst of myself. Isn’t that what we are all looking for. In the meantime I am realistic. I don’t want a marriage proposal before I’m 34, I don’t feel the tick tock of the damned biological clock like so many other woman, I don’t need my toes sucked, I don’t need to be “taken care” of; as if I am some sort of mentally ill person, and I don’t want to be sexually objectified without my consent.

Recently I had a strange and wonderful afternoon delight with an acquaintance. He was coming down from a long night of birthday debauchery, and I was horney as hell. After the ultimate make out session, god I love those, a nice tumble in the hay and off we went with a grip of friends to a show. He stayed the night, left in the morning and all is well. That is what I want. Right there. Sexual enjoyment, friendship, music, hanging out, and being real. No lines, no bullshit. Just two people enjoying each other in the moment they are together.

I don’t know if I am going to find something so easy and effortless online. It is starting to appear that the men I am attracted to want to skip the getting to know you part, and just focus on your naughty bits. There are the men that have a litter of children that are in the market for a new mommy, and of course there are the regular guys that are just hoping to fall in love and quit looking. I get that, but it is a lot of pressure.

What I want is simple and uncomplicated. I want to go out Friday, play all day Saturday, and recover in bed on Sunday. I want one of those weekends a month with a man that is busy too, and enjoys what he can get when he can get it. No games. No hang-ups. Oh and a lot of making out, because I remember now what it was like to be in high school and make out for hours, it’s FUCKING WONDERFUL!

Elko E. is a major D-bag

Well, the online dating rant is back. Don’t worry; there is always plenty to bitch about when it comes to “attempting” to meet a man. I mean I can meet someone to fuck; I can meet someone that has the back to front comb over that wants to “walk on the beach” and is an “incurable romantic,” blah, blah, blah….. Or like the following text conversation I can meet weirdo’s that enjoy sexually objectifying women by means of text message. This one is between Elko E. and my self.

Elko: Hey. CutieElko: Hi babydoll.

Me: What’s goin on

Elko: Not a lot baby, just Hangn out ;)

Me: Nice. Just got home from a jazz concert at unr

Elko: Very kewl. (I know I know he actually used “kewl”)

Me: Very cool indeed. It was fucking mind blowing amazing. Music fees my soul.

Elko: I’d like to feed you. (really he said that) ;)

Me: (after a pregnant pause to decide how to respond)

Not sure how to take that to be honest. Fairly certain you meant that in an “nc-17” rated way. REALLY?

Elko: In a hung way babe ;)

So you see what I mean. Here was a man that really only wanted to “sext” or what ever. Which is funny because the very first thing I said to him was “I don’t sext.” So I can only assume that he has Mommy issues and needs to put himself on a pedestal for me to go down on. Well, I didn’t respond to him that night, and I actually received a “Morning sexy” message the next day. Wow…..

not that bitter

Look out folks, I am on a blessing kick again. I absolutely blown away by the people I have in my life, the new friends I meet, the fun things I get to do, and the overwhelming amount of love that I share with so many amazing friends and family.

Last night was a fun punk show that I went to with old friends and some new ones. I had so much fun. A lot of laughter, hi-jenks, and to be honest one too many libations. My point about this is the pure fun that was had. No hang ups, no drama, no bull shit. Just really cool people having a really great time. There was a time in my life that I hid from the people that loved me, and I didn't put myself out there to meet new people. It was a time in my life filled with self-destruction and dishonesty. So, yeah a silly crazy punk show caused me to feel blessed.

Life is a crazy fucked up thing sometimes. It is really easy to get bogged down with all the negatives. I find myself there all the time. It is a misuse of valuable energy to focus on the everything that isn't how you want it. Enjoy what is given to you. Accept the good along with the bad. You can't have one with out the other. I am "in love" with life, my life is what I make it, and I choose to make it fantastic!

To all of my friends in the world, you make me better. I hope I can give back a small amount of what I receive.